|Day 1
The Tour is finally here. Everyone is buzzing and the van has just shown up. We loaded up and Bri has utterly destroyed the toilet in John's flat. Like completely destroyed it. Deposit losing destroyed it, Everyone is crying with laughter (apart from John), The geezer has some serious issues man! We managed to drive a good 3m up the road before big Bri nearly burned the clutch out on the van, which was starting to kick out some serious smells. There may be a theme here... We finally broke down in Aston. Which is in Birmingham, Where we live. Not a good start. Cue frantic phone calls to rent another a van and shouts of 'this van is fucking fucked' from the assorted mechanics on board. The 30 min impromptu break did the trick as we started back for home, the clutch had managed to un shit itself so we decided to crack on to Folkstone.
The SUCKERPUNCH and ANGRY ITCH #CanIUseYourToiletTour IS ON!
Both bands had managed to concoct some truly Horrible road drinks and it quickly turned into a race to see who could get the most mash up. You know its bad when the SP drummer had to wash his mouth out with Buckfast.
We soon got to the Chunnel and spent the crossing explaining to Craig that yes, we were on a train and yes, it is under the sea. Gin sense took over and after a quick Disney melody, we landed at the hotel in Dunkirk around 2 am. Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep....
Day 2
Woke up in a double bed with the guitar player from SUCKERPUNCH. Been filmed pissing up a tree and been smashed in the nuts. All before breakfast, We also happened upon the internet sensation that is Geography With John that has to be seen to be believed. We loaded up 8 tired idiots and headed north. Face hurts from laughing already , but not as much as my balls.
Travelling is what you make of it i guess and there's only so much looking out the window you can do while the van swerves over the motorway.
'How many mints can you get in your foreskin Craig?'
'3, or one snooker ball'.
Yep, we got there already.
We arrived at the awesome Club Lola in Groningen and loaded in, We had a few hours until sound check and decided to look around the city. The venue backs on to the market square so we wondered off to the coffee shop for a quick brew and a chat with a French Canadian American guy called Dave or something. Can't remember. He was in Software, Not punk Rock. Nice guy though.
Once we'd finished all the touristy stuff (fucking look at that Dildo!! It'd break your hips, that!) it was time for ANGRY ITCH to open the show. The gig was being artfully filmed by some local videographer students so it was best rock faces on and d fucking GO time! AI SMASHED into their set, banger after banger until John's guitar went bang. Todd ran off for the spare and a quick guitar change later they were back to take more heads off.
The set has some new songs in it from their new 2nd album as well as the AI classics, They've worked really hard preparing for the tour and in the five years i've known AI, i've never heard them tighter.
Next up were local heroes REBEL RADIO. A 3 piece that reminded me of QOTSA with a healthy does of Therapy? chucked in which was ace in my view. Ace bunch of lads as well.
Next it was our turn. You could tell that we had sat in a van for hours. We were like some rabid caged dogs. 45 minutes later, we had turned the club upside down and even did an encore!! Ark at us. Big smiles all round, so we decided to take in some more dutch culture and watch the football while the club closed. There is no finer feeling of getting your head down when you're knackered and it then became a race to see who could kip the fastest before the snore Olympics kicked off. Craig off of SUCKERPUNCH doesn't snore. He does motorbike impressions. The twat.
Massive thanks to everyone who came and watched, the video kids, Stephan the Promoter and Crystal the coolest women in Holland for putting us up.
Day 3
After a nice breakfast, it was load out time and back in the van for the trip to Den Bosch. The gig tonight was in the World Skate Centre, a WICKED skate park in the centre of town. We pulled in to the car park and there was a mental painting of Tim Armstrong on the wall. I knew then that this place was gonna be brilliant. We met with our mate Duco and loaded in. The venue was great and after sound check we had some ace food and a few beers, Doors opened and a decent crowd had assembled. Its always good to see a good crowd for two bands that hadn't played the city before and they got into it straight away. SUCKERPUNCH opened the show today and we went for it again, Its the only way we know innit! We had a great show and the sound was brilliant. Neil even posed standing on the bass rig of the PA and didn't break anything on the way down, For a change,
AI headlined tonight and hit the sweet spot again, It was their turn for an encore and they blasted out WONK UNITS Awful Jeans. Neil and Rob looked at each other and went FUCK!!
Both bands are on brilliant form on this tour. We met some absolutely ace people in Den Bosch, few of them in Pizza Tramp tees as well!
After show was a good walk through the town and a few beers at Duco's flat before the snore off again, Tonights winner was Luke. The Twat.
Day 4
We loaded out early and got on the road to Bremen. Should have been a five hour drive but it all adds up to how many times we stopped for a piss or filmed another episode of GWJ. Facebook keeps telling me that they are loving it so we kept them coming...Ric had been complaining of feeling ropey all morning and did what can only be described as a massive yellow yawn out the window, Proper impressive Vomit!
We arrived in Bremen and stopped at our mates Thorsten's lovely house. NEBENWIRKUNG and BOMBFORS were already there and after some big hellos and a couple of beers, it was time to load in. Thorsten's brilliant wife Kirsten is probably the best host ever, It can't be easy having loads of punks from all over Europe crashing out all over the joint, but we wanted for nothing. Such great people.
We loaded in and set the stage up. This was gonna be a big one. Both bands had looked forwarded to this one since we played there last year with the DRONGOS. With everyones back drops up and all the amps on stage, it looked amazing. The sound was incredible as well. BOMBFORS killed it man, fast sing along Punk Rock sung entirely in Swedish, they are ACE. We made some new friends tonight!
NEBENWIRKUNG went on next and destroyed the place. I should think so as well!
ANGRY ITCH were up next , and man, they fucking rocked it. The place went crackers and they sold nuff merch!
Now its time for SUCKERPUNCH.
OK, this is it... Sold out headline show in Germany,,,, Last year we opened the show..... This is a big one for us...... Four tired people...hundreds of miles.....maximum effort because its FUCKING CLOBBERIN TIME!!!! I think we left everything we had on that stage. The gig was brilliant. Mosh pits, two nutters ball room dancing, smashed in the teeth by the mic, monitors getting mashed up, beer and limbs everywhere brilliant. ANGRY ITCH got on stage with us to sing PUNK ROCK CASUALTY and then that was it. Tour DONE!! We did it.. 7 divs from Brum managed to sell out a great gig in a German city and do it properly.
We retired back to the house and had a great feed and too many beers until it was time to pass out. Kirsten got Neil another birthday cake which was ace as well. Olympic motorbike winner was Neil this time. The TWAT.
It was an early start as we had about four countries to drive through, so after a brilliant breakfast, it was time to leg it down the road. I cannot thank all the people that helped us out and looked after us so well while we were away. You are all truly brilliant and i only hope we can do it again soon. Plans are in motion!
The drive home was long and eventful, Bri arguing with germans, blow outs and service stops after service stops after passport control (pricks!) after service stop after road works and then we were home.
I can't tell you how proud of the people we were on tour with, 30 odd hours driving, 1600 miles and countless laughs, beers and telling each other to fuck off, this was utterly brilliant.
That's pretty much it for SUCKERPUNCH for 2019. Its been another brilliant year. We are having some time off the gig front to finally do our album. Keep an eye out as we have a lot to get done and you wont want to miss this!
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